Josh Hamilton reported to Spring Training on Tuesday 20 pounds lighter, and he claims it was all thanks to juicing. “But Andrew,” you, my dear reader, say, “won’t juicing in fact make you bigger?! Because don’t you get more muscle and stuff and muscle weighs more than fat, at least that’s what my gym coach told me in 10th grade when I couldn’t climb the rope.” Ah, but see, that’s where my deceptive headline comes into play. Master of puns, I am.

No, Hamilton reportedly shed the weight via a juice diet — you know, like fruits and vegetables blended together to make things that don’t taste as good as In-N-Out.* Hamilton, a deeply religious man, stated that the Lord woke him up in the middle of the night and drew him to infomercials featuring nutrition author Cherie Calbom. Through this, he learned the tricks of the [legal] juicing trade.

* I consider it juicing when I ask for tomatoes on my cheeseburger.

I admire Hamilton’s productivity when waking up in the middle of the night. If I wake up at some funky hour, I’ll go rummage the fridge or admire the mustache of the My Pillow guy. Anyway, the Angels hope Hamilton’s health binge will keep him healthy and productive heading into the season. It’s a common offseason joke that players are always “in the best shape of their lives.” But with Hamilton that might actually be the case. I mean, it can’t hurt, right?

If you follow the link in the first paragraph there’s a video that better explains what Cherie Calbom is all about. I didn’t watch any of it because it’s almost 30 minutes long and anything over 45 second on YouTube means I’m not watching it. But if you’re bored or want some health tips of your own, have at it. You never know, maybe you too can become a pro ball player!

Anyone seen my glove?

The Halos opened camp in Tempe to pitchers and catchers yesterday, meaning not only that baseball season is officially here (yay!), but also that all the little tweaks, twinges, and sorenesses that pitchers have been mum about in the last few weeks will come to light (which is considerably less fun).

New closer Ryan Madson showed up to camp yesterday with the news that his Tommy Johned elbow has been bothering him since the beginning of February and that he’s been ordered to shut it down indefinitely, per Alden Gonzalez.

While I’m imagining all sorts of doom and gloom scenarios in which Madson pulls a Pedro Feliciano and never once takes the mound in Anaheim, I think I may be getting ahead of myself. Even if all had gone perfectly in the lanky right-hander’s rehab, conservative estimates still had him starting the season on the DL and being activated two or three weeks in. Hence the incentive-laden contract.

Best-case scenario the elbow soreness is just the surrounding muscles adjusting to their new ligament neighbor and he’ll be back on the hill in a few weeks. Worst-case scenario: .

Ernesto Frieri and his new change-up will likely take on the closer role to start the year, which I think he can probably handle. I hear he may have done it before.

In happier news, fellow Tommy John alumnus Michael Kohn showed up to camp at 100 percent and will likely battle with Bobby Cassevah for the final bullpen spot. No word on whether Kohn’s new elbow ligament comes with fewer walks.

Don’t worry, I’m not fishing for any deeper meaning behind that question. No, that was the correct question on a Jeopardy! answer last night in the Teen Tournament (highly preferential to regular Jeopardy! because I feel smarter). None of the three contestants came up with the correct answer — er, question. And really, who has time for baseball when there are Emily Dickinson poems to read and periodic table flash cards to review?

Coincidentally, this isn’t even Trout’s biggest venture into pop culture this week, having already starred in a Subway Super Bowl commercial opposite Jared and that one guy from The Office. Such is the life of a newly christened baseball star.

Miguel Cabrera won MVP, but has he ever been a Jeopardy! answer? I doubt it. If I’m Trout, I’m texting Miggy on a daily basis, saying things like “This player struck out looking to end the 2012 World Series…who is you?” Or “This team last won the World Series seven years before I was born…who are the Detroit Tigers?” You get the idea.

Man, baseball really needs to start soon.

Tuesday evening, reports surfaced that Jerome Williams and the Angels had agreed to a $2 million dollar deal for 2013 to avoid going to arbitration.

Williams is among five Angels eligible for arbitration this winter, along with Tommy Hanson, Jason Vargas, Alberto Callaspo, and Kevin Jepsen.

Williams, a 31-year-old native of Honolulu, has spent the last two seasons with the Angels, starting 21 games while appearing in relief in another 21. He has combined to post a 10-8 record with a 4.36 ERA (87 ERA+) in 181.2 innings for the Halos.

With the additions of Hanson, Vargas, and Joe Blanton, Williams will likely be relegated to a long relief role in 2013, while also serving as the likely 6th starter if one of the current five were to go down with an injury.

The Angels have acquired left-handed starter Jason Vargas in exchange for 1B/DH Kendrys Morales. This trade fills out the Angels’ rotation and opens the DH spot, presumably for Mark Trumbo.

Vargas, who turns 30 in February, is a solid middle-to-back-end starter. He won’t walk a ton of batters, but he’ll allow a moderate number of fly balls, which didn’t often leave the confines of Safeco Field. He’s another innings eater, having tossed an average of 203.2 innings over the past three seasons. Vargas, like Morales, is arbitration-eligible for the final time, and will become a free agent after the 2013 season.

Morales is coming off of his first season back after missing all of 2011, and most of 2010, with a leg injury. He wasn’t spectacular, but he was solid all year, finishing with a .273/.320/.467 line over 522 plate appearances. His home run power returned later in the season, and he hit 14 of his 22 home runs after July 1.